When I begin to overanalyze a thought, it is as if the world stops. I become consumed with an idea and as I dive deeper into the topic, my mind is on multiple detours from endless tangents.
My mind encourages more reflection, implying a life altering discovery around the corner; if I think fast enough, I will uncover the fusing quality that symbolizes total unity among everything in our existence. Sometimes I grasp this richly overpowering comprehension of some idea, but it is lost before I have time to find a pencil. I don't know what I'm looking for or where to find it, but I feel like a detective, trying to solve some impossible mystery.
Because I have second period off, my dance team coach (also a teacher) lets me use her vacant classroom and computer. I keep the lights off with the exception of a stout lamp that gives off a warm glow. I get online, not knowing what I want to find. Somehow, some website, some article inspires a new mental masterpiece.
When the period is over, the sharp school bell is a rude awakening to actuality, in which I become incapable of interaction. It’s horrible. I love the time I spend uncovering the essence of the world's obscurity, but by the time I re-enter I feel out of place… As if the observation of reality makes it impossible for me to partake in it.
Is this strange to anyone other than me? Is there a reason for all of this?
My mind encourages more reflection, implying a life altering discovery around the corner; if I think fast enough, I will uncover the fusing quality that symbolizes total unity among everything in our existence. Sometimes I grasp this richly overpowering comprehension of some idea, but it is lost before I have time to find a pencil. I don't know what I'm looking for or where to find it, but I feel like a detective, trying to solve some impossible mystery.
Because I have second period off, my dance team coach (also a teacher) lets me use her vacant classroom and computer. I keep the lights off with the exception of a stout lamp that gives off a warm glow. I get online, not knowing what I want to find. Somehow, some website, some article inspires a new mental masterpiece.
When the period is over, the sharp school bell is a rude awakening to actuality, in which I become incapable of interaction. It’s horrible. I love the time I spend uncovering the essence of the world's obscurity, but by the time I re-enter I feel out of place… As if the observation of reality makes it impossible for me to partake in it.
Is this strange to anyone other than me? Is there a reason for all of this?
I love getting lost is thought, but its becoming more and more difficult to find my way out. I have always been the spontaneous, free spirit, but after my 2nd period sessions, I come out someone else.
Is it possible to live life if you constantly over think it?
I refuse to live passively as an onlooker.
~*~I WANT TO BE THE STAR OF MY STORY, NOT JUST THE AUTHOR~*~
Love Love,
(slightly confused) CuriousChloe
5 comments:
I can 100% relate to what you've written here. Also, I think you're a lovely writer, thanks for commenting on my blog =) It's nice to know someone actually read the anecdotes and doesn't just look at the pretty pictures ;]
Are you french, coz' on Ur pic you seems to be!!
Anyway great blog
Philie
does 1/8 french count? no, besides ancestral roots, I am american.
love love,
Chloe
does 1/8 french count? no, besides ancestral roots, I am american.
love love,
Chloe
I can relate too. I put a little different spin on it. I think of it as journeying inside myself...so if I've spent time journeying inward (into thoughts, feelings, whatever) and get to a very deep place inside me, it makes sense that I need some time to make the journey back out (into interaction, relating to others outside myself).
Anyway...I'll try to answer the questions you put up on my blog. They are great, but not easy to answer so it may take me a bit. I also put up some music therapy website URLs if you have a mind to do some surfing.
Love back... :o)
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